Dear Harriette: Birthday post bugs ex and current partner alike

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a relationship for the summer with a woman I went to college with. We no longer live in the same town. In fact, we live across the country from each other. We broke up a few weeks ago -- for a lot of reasons. I started dating somebody else and recently posted to celebrate her birthday by putting up a lot of photos of us. I thought she would like that. It turns out that nobody did. My ex's feelings are hurt. She called our mutual friend, devastated to see that I have already moved on and didn't say anything to her about this new girl. Meanwhile, the new girl said my post was way too much. She wants to keep things casual, so she broke up with me. Now, all I've got is a big mess and a lot of hurt feelings. I think I just wanted to claim something that was happy, and the opposite happened. How can I fix this, especially with my ex? I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, even though we aren't together anymore. Meanwhile, she blocked me, so I can't reach her directly. -- Clean Up DEAR CLEAN UP: Go to the mutual friend and ask if you can deliver a message through them. Compose an apology text saying that you are sorry for rubbing your new relationship in your ex's face. You didn't mean to hurt her, and you are sorry. From there, slow down. Don't jump into anything else right now. Figure out what you really want for your life, and take your time to find it. Make sure you stay true to your values along the way. ****** DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandson has been on a rebellious streak for quite some time now. It started with him skipping school and then with him quitting altogether. When my daughter demanded that he attend school every day, he decided to move out. For a while, he had a shabby apartment with some less-than-exemplary friends, but eventually, they must've run out of money. He's been couch surfing at different friends' and family members' homes. He called me the other night asking if he could please stay with me for a while until he gets his next job (which he claims is guaranteed). The last time I allowed him to stay with me, he was coming and going at all hours and inviting people over who didn't seem on the up-and-up to me. I don't want to leave my grandson without a home, but I also don't want to compromise my safety for him or his associates either. What should I do? -- Bad Behavior DEAR BAD BEHAVIOR: Trust your instincts. If your grandson has already shown you how he will behave when he stays at your house, believe him. You may want to meet with him to talk -- in a neutral location. Get him to open up about his life and talk about what he wants for himself. Be even and stern, pointing out that his choices have gotten him to this point and only his choices will get him out of it.